by Sean Karp » Tue Nov 22, 2011 8:01 pm
There is an old song from around these parts:
Once was a fighter.
He was from Caid.
Didn't wear his cup to a fight.
Now he's using rattan in a new way.
His lady just loves it.
Fits like a dream.
Also an excerpt from an article on a man called Buck Shelford who didn't wear his cup to the first Rugby world cup:
Shelford was jacked in the face with a bare-knuckled roundhouse punch that knocked out four of his teeth. But that wasn't the worst of it – not long after getting de-toothed with a sucker punch, a French cleat found its way through the pile and struck Shelford directly in the ballsack, ripping it open leaving one nut hanging out of his scrote.
You are reading this correctly – the guy got Monkey Steals the Peached by a f**** spiked boot in the middle of a rugby game. Displaying what can only be the utter, literal definition of balls-out, Shelford amazingly didn't even seem to give a shit about a wound that would have brought even a berserking Viking warrior to his knees in agony. Bleeding badly, missing a ball from his goodie sack, and in what could only have been excruciating pain in both his face and groin, Shelford didn't roll around on the turf crying like some kind of professional soccer flopper punk. He didn't get carted off to the hospital in an ambulance for emergency surgery. He didn't even go to the locker room strapped to the back of one of those little golf cart thingies. This psychotic madman got up, walked off the pitch holding his balls back in place, stood on the sidelines, and waited patiently while the team doc stitched up his nutsack on international television. Without anesthesia. With a cameraman right in his face, taping the entire gruesome procedure. I didn't find the footage of the incredibly-unhygenic surgery, but I'm not going to lie and say that I tried very hard, either. There are some things which can be sufficiently described with text and don't necessarily require people to see things that can never be unseen.
Moral: Always Wear Your Cup.
"When the opponent expands, I contract. When he contracts, I expand. And when there is an opportunity, I do not hit. It hits all by itself." -B. Lee.